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Posts tagged “Love

Celebrate Your Love Story!


Couples Portrait_Silvia Tomarchio_Taylors Hill-2017-

It’s not just a portrait, it’s cherishing your moments, captured forever, celebrating finding love and keeping your love alive.

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A Portrait..


Alongsiders International_Silvia Tomarchio Photography

For me a portrait is a portrait, whether it be corporate, domestic portrait, street photography or a wedding. I do not rely on what the world sees as beautiful, I watch and wait, your breathing, for that moment that you let go, forget about everything and just be in your moment, your sharing of authentic beauty, a connection to love and light, that is the moment I click capturing the essence of you, your told or untold story only you know and for a brief moment share with me without even knowing, your smile, your posture, your trust, Its so easy to see the love and joy these two have for each other and I’m so blessed they shared it with me, blissfully unaware. I cannot begin to describe the privilege I feel when people allow me in, a true moment of beauty. Gratitude to be part of a movement for Alongsiders International, the opportunity to be a small part of this wonderful organisation, to use my skills for more than just a pretty portrait. I look for more than light, I seek your light within.


Blessed


How beautiful, got a message last night from one of the mums at my daughters school, her little boy and my daughter have been friends since kinda.

” what size do you take? I have boots, would you like them?” Like the ones in your pictures. “yes, thank you!” Lol yes I do love my boots!!!

Our adventures!!!

How very thoughtful 😊

I love her little boy, i keep asking him to marry my daughter when they get older, His mum is from Taiwan and dad Australian, he has that beautiful gentle nature that will be able to manage my daughter’s full on independence! His mum told me that he was going to marry my daughter, she told him that he would need to ask my permission, he replied with, “she loves me!” hahahah how very true. I do, every time I see him he will run as fast as he can to me for the sweetest hugs, such a loving and gentle soul.


What I want for Christmas……… 


Rather cute, just a few gifts that my girls are giving to each other, in a very creative way.

Don’t panic, I have the perfect gift for out family which can’t be put under the tree 😉

For a few weeks now i have been asking my girls what they want for Christmas and the reply is the same, “i don’t know” seriously i feel like wrapping up three boxes with the words I don’t know. I also have been asked what i want, I reply with “I don’t know, a massage?” Well when i think about it, i try and have a massage once a month as treat for me and a necessity, but what I really want is quality time with them, those I love and value and those that love and value us. I do not like to waste our time, time is so very precious.

I don’t feel I have every really been materialistic, but I do save for things that are important to me, quality stuff that I use for myself, us and my work. Occasionally buying stuff we don’t need, that is also changed for the better, nearly 8 years ago when our family situation changed, there were times that my little one would ask for a toy that would end up on the floor within days anyway, if i purchased it, I would ask, “do you really want that toy or should we save it and go on family holiday when I save enough?” thankfully she answered holiday, even as little girl she was preferred a holiday, asking if there would be a pool or the beach, lol yes! And we have been on many adventures around Australia and beyond, quality time to explore and just hang out, minimal cooking and cleaning, bonus.

In the next few days I plan to once and for all delete my Facebook account, while once it was fun, and a great platform to advertise my work and services it is no more, some of the replies I have had were, “oh that’s sad but I respect your choice”, words used like i will miss “tracking” you and following you, while I know there is no harm intended in those words but tracking is for dogs….while sometimes they have engaged in posts that I share, others come to peep through the window but never knock on the door.

Another reason why it’s gotta go, over the course of time I feel I am losing the connection with my girls, hiding out in there rooms using instant gratification as a form of entertainment, yes I know we all need space and time out and I know they are doing their homework etc as it shows in their results, I miss the bubble we created and I know they are growing up, we all need space, but isolation I am not fond of. In a time I had to figure out how to pay the bills and put food on the table with the threat of losing our home, God knows how many rivers I cried, a time when we had only each other and it was beautiful. Less truly is more, I am constantly hearing “but that’s just the way it is now”, well why do I have to accept it? I love a tangible and tactile world, where people come together and just enjoy.

Social media hey, not in the real world. I am simply overwhelmed by media overload, marketing, buy, buy, buy, download this and that and I will make you a millionaire, crazy talk, negative posts, posts that save the world while they sit in the comfort of their homes and I think the nail for me was reading the diminishing of another human being recently, it made me sick. Tall Poppy Syndrome, yuk. I know what I want in life, for me it’s simple, I know who I want to be surrounded by and who I can easily walk away from. Freedom to enjoy the good “stuff”.

I rarely share personal pics anymore but yes I have, in moments of joy, we all love our kids and their accomplishments, proud and want to share.

While I truly admire people that have made their money and give back to charities often creating their own, what I truly admire is the ones who give what they can at any point in their lives. Scrap that mentality that we have to make our fortune first, every small gesture of kindness can change the world little by little and also change you in the process. And if you really feel you have no money to spare, then give your time, to help others. Scrap those words, I don’t have ANY money etc I don’t know maybe replace it with it’s put elsewhere, priorities maybe? And please, please don’t use it to get discounts! Give to givers, pay it forward.

So now my last point the assumption that I am rich, that’s how i/we get to travel, well depending on how you look at it we are.

So here goes.

.I use my credit card for everything, i have frequent flyer, many trips have been purchased with points, paying only taxes.

.I don’t stay in a 5 star hotel, they are full of the wrong kind of 5 star people i am interested in. All I need is a clean room, shower in the right location.

.We have a money box that we put our gold coins in, my girls just recently counted it up, i think it’s about 2 years now, we had $630 not bad for money easily spent on crap.

.I shop and cook most days of the week, occasional takeout. I have meals prepared for busy days. Weekly meals are planned with minimal waste.

. I do like a pub band every so often but don’t pointlessly drink and piss up my money against the wall, a couple of ciders are enough for me.

.We buy what we need, this i love, I don’t feel guilty if one gets a new pair of jeans and the others don’t because they get what they need and different times and no jealousy either, huge bonus.

.I don’t go out a lot, preferring to catch up with friends for lunch or dinner, a connecting catch up, during winter I become a bit of a hermit, great time to edit and create, watch movies, snuggle and of course save for the warmer months.

.Yes I am a gift giver, and never a tight one either, but its been narrowed down to less people, little people and my folks. Did you know that World vision has $12 a month charity?

. Photography gear is only purchased with money I make from my love trade.

.I plan my trips well by research.

.I book my own flights and accomodation and usual book tours when we arrived or mostly get there myself, oh the tourist trap, eeeeek

.Sometimes i sell stuff we not longer need, sometimes I give it away.

. I don’t buy souvenirs, maybe some artwork, or recently scarves from India, yes I got sucked in!

. My souvenirs are the images I create and the moments and memories that live in my heart, soul and mind.

. Sometimes I trade photography services on my travels, that’s always a great one.

If I, a single mum, 4 of us to provide for, including myself,  on minimum wage with no support can do it, anyone can if they really want it, there lies the key, you get what you focus on, then work your arse off to get. Just get creative.

. Mostly the mindset of what I want to do, you get what you focus on, by making a choice that makes your heart skip a beat then focus on how the funds will arrive later and always just in time.

So what do I really want for Christmas? Quality Time with my girls most of all, family and friends that speak of what they want, rather than what they don’t want. Dreams in their heart that make their eyes light up. A small group on encouragers. 10 minute venting is allowed lol Those 10 minutes friendships of those I meet on my travels close to home and far away.

Our health!!!!

Travel and photography, grateful for our beautiful home and great car, food on the table, clothes on our back, bills being paid on time. A simple life, of lots of love, laughter and snuggles.
For me it’s not the thought that counts rather the thoughtfulness for others, everyday, not just for Christmas.

I don’t feel we are missing anything, we truly have all that we need and plenty that we think we want.

Here’s to an amazing 2017 filled with what really makes us happy with space to be grateful for it.

Merry Christmas everyone! and God bless.


A picture is worth a thousand words.


tog

My heart sank…..I spent 4 days along The Ganges, a place I have wanted to visit for so long, the colours, the people, the culture. On this day I had taken a sunrise boat ride from Assi Ghat to Dashashwamedh Ghat, I opted to jump out so I could walk back and just chill while watching the world go by in all its glory, with all the noise, i could still just be.

The day before I had photographed this little girl from a distance with a gentle smile to say yes. Today I watched this guy invade this little soul, where is the humanity? it’s like he didn’t really see her, just a prop to showcase his travels. My heart hurt for her so i slowly made my way of and yes got in his frame, i touched her hand and smiled at her, she sat beside me and i gave her a cuddle. While sometimes its difficult to distinguish status in life, {equally human} i tried my very best not to take the obvious photos, you know the ones, so then people can say “wow we are so lucky to live in the western world” well, most are miserable, complaining about lack or not enough….blah, drives me nuts. Less is definitely more…

You see nearly 8 years ago my life turned upside down, I will not tell you how many rivers I cried, 7 years ago I still wasn’t ready to participate with others, instead I found comfort and peace through street photography, sitting back far enough but close enough to feel without commitment , the little things in life, the gestures, the joy of simply being through other’s. A safe place to begin to reconnect. My point is we are all human and deserve to be respected no matter what, till this day i will not fire off a shot unless there is love and respect, the silent nod if I can or can’t take their photo, it is the sharing of everyday moments that unites us, the ordinary, please be mindful and I also promise to do my best at that. While we are all curious about each other from different world, God knows i had enough people want to take my photo with and without them in it, respect space and humanity, as a photographer we all want that shot but never at the expense of a human soul…..that’s a cheap shot…..

As a lover of people,culture, diversity and my favourite, “quirky” deep in my soul the constant question, how can I help people with my work, at times it’s almost haunting because I just don’t know how…..yet. How do I post something like this without it making it inhumane? What really matters it I know my own intention…..I work in an industry that I truly love, from weddings to corporate, capturing life time moments for others, but everyday i ask God to show me how I can help others…Show me God, show me…it’s not the money you make that changes our lives towards happiness, it’s the people you meet along the way, those that inspire to become a better you.


Gods’ Earth


On this day absorbed in my surroundings my mind and heart had peace, a realisation but not the strength…

God has made such a beautiful earth for us but it’s the wonderful people that make it spectacular.
I loved that this couple walked into my frame and made it complete.
Choose wisely with those you allow to be part of your internal frame.

Photography for me is not just about pretty locations, beautiful people, but a journey of self discovery, a place to clear my mind and find clarity, a place to know my standards. A place to grow and become a better person through kindness to others and to myself.

I have learnt that to love unconditionally even with all the pain that comes with it is the true measure of a person, how you make wrongs right.
It is the only way to experience deep connection of selfless love.

While I share this I may come across as dumb, angry or vulnerable to those who’s intentions are self seeking or do not know me, but I see it as strength to speak freely with my experiences,
to know what people do for their own devices has no relevance to who i am. I allowed it, even sometimes dismissed it because of your my nature and honesty.

I hope that if someone is going through the same experience that my story helps them.
At the same time growing from this, a very difficult but worthwhile lesson. You have the right to express how you feel and be heard, even if no one is listening or believes you, speak your truth. Most are just curious and very few care and all of that is irrelevant to your right to feel and be human.
As painful as it was, it has made me grow. Slowing forgiving myself for my angry responses, realising there is only so much one can take, I am after all only human myself, the confusion it created when I knew better. I can kick myself for allowing it but I know my intention was to give all not out of weakness but out of being authentic. This is not as good as it gets.

I have met so many people in my life but never one like this, one that has no ability to feel remorse, be accountable unless there is a pay off, do nothing for others unless there is something in it for them,

Once they realise they are about to be discovered apologise with “I’m sorry you feel that way” rather than “i am sorry I did that to you. Telling you they will try and in the same sentence, say this is how I am take it or leave it, confused much?!

I have never experienced such a performance of manipulation, actually making it finally clear to me, with all my experiences with life, even knowing it, seeing it but the slow feeding of put downs, silent treatment to control, draining me of my strength and joy that i couldn’t get out. Feeling so weak you cling onto the very person that keeps you there, a slow death indeed.

I heard myself but didn’t quite take it in, emotional manipulation is a powerful thing, i have never experienced silence to control, I am so grateful, i finally saw it for what it was, nothing more than self seeking on their behalf while making you believe that you are crazy and acting crazy, infused with confusion of your right to express how you feel.

Stripping you of joy to keep you just where they want you, giving just enough to keep you there.

While the words were there, there were no actions to back it.
These manipulators pray on people with forgiving natures, the ones that can love unconditionally and the ones he thinks cannot think for themselves.
While we all make mistakes, the truth lies in the ability to take responsibly, to make things right because your heart tells you so or get out because it’s not right for you.

They will feed just enough information to others so they make up the rest of the story to belittle you, hate you and make themselves come off as the victim, allowing others to fight for them while they portray they are sincere, thus not taking responsibility of their own motives.
There will always be haters based on the lies of others, no control over that. People that will attack you on their behalf, adding lies, a reflection of who they are and how they feel about themselves, based oh half truths and their own pain.

The angry caller,

I was called slut, whore, while her husband yelled from the background, evil slut, she even said that her husband pushed her when he was pissed off, wow if that what you think is ok, that is your choice. I have my own standards. Adding her pain reflecting on me. NO truth in her words of assumptions and half truths.

An hour of her rubbishing me until I finally snapped diminishing my past relationship that she knows nothing about, not caring when I said he had a stroke, “saying yeah that’s it that’s what i want to see, truly some very angry people on the planet.

People that don’t really know either of us. I stand by my truth. The people who know you and love you will stay, the ones that don’t will gossip. Some may even go out of their way to hurt, I am sorry they are experiencing their own pain and see it as an opportunity to reflect on others, instead of doing the work.

The manipulator shares nothing of themselves and they know how dangerous it can be because thats what they use to control, they give enough allowing people to feel comfortable to tell them all, a feeling of being heard and acknowledged, again gaining trust, make you feel good believing that they are good people who are actually interested in you, in actual fact it’s their game plan, we all feel good about talking about ourselves feeling understood, the manipulator has actually done nothing for you but give you a false sense of acceptance.

The manipulator will put on a performance of a life time, sadness, tears, expressing their failures by default but actually never trying or taking responsiblity, they will use the “you deserve better” dam straight i so, who will throw in I love you and want to it to work, just to confuse you more, quickly saying, I don’t know what to do, it will be all about them in an attempt to make you feel that they are sorry , when actually they are sorry that you can see past the lies and can no longer manipulate you, and off they go to the next person they can drain, it sparked me to read and learn about such people, I am still stunned that there are people that walk the earth like that.

He “allowed” me to tell him what I learnt and discovered, with the phone on speaker while he worked, giving me the I can’t talk now reason, which was always the way but never came back to talk to me later, in all that time I spoke, nothing but silence and the little he gave was with no sense of remorse, understanding or compassion,
I somehow feel I have given him the tools to do it better next time, handed him a sob story to tell others for his instant gratification. Allowing him to continue his self fulling intentions.While he did something that is beyond repair, I had the right to know, if I was the only person he did it too, or others. He has the right to his truth as it has no reflection on who i am or my recovery.

So as I pick up the pieces, restore myself knowing who i really am and what my intentions are with those around me, I know my flaws and have the ability to acknowledge them, apologies and forgive, while half way there i realise that the hurdle i face is knowing that, people like this will get away with not being accountable, surrounding themselves with people they can control those who believe in the front, he will do it again and again and there is nothing i can do but move on and forgive myself.
My strength lies in my process of bettering who I am as that is the only thing i have control of. Never to allow this again. Even the strong fall with the ability to rise. Time to get my happy back.

All I can do is pray for all. God is with me. _DSC0653